Time to choose

It was the realization of time and the neutralization of time…

This is the point, that the slump downward or the lifting upward takes place in everyone's life. When the smallest choices become so important, that like everyone else I've made plans for how I thought my life would go while I was still young; however, unexpected changes continuously occur, feeling left behind or forgotten by myself or those around me. Even as I tried to move on, my feelings sometimes became trapped to the point of building up as certain moments either escalated or shifted to a completely different view which had the sensation of losing self-control. 

The moments coming together, mixing uncontrollably, as if gathering in suffocating waves. Just waiting to be rocketed back towards the surface to hopefully regain enough breath to refill my lungs even as the next plunge sends me even deeper. 

It wasn't until more recently with lots of miniature releases and specific choices about returning to what I was taught that I could start to see, hear and think with more clarity. Patience and Grace along with faith, is what I had continuously held on to with a tight grip, or else my recovery would seem to have never taken place.

But I had to start with myself, because I am the only one who can choose how I change! No one else, no matter how hard they may try, can make me change. My choices are mine; I can either act or react to how or what is happening around me. There are consequences that come from all choices made! Some are blessings and others are a sharp kick in the pants. 

Even as I've been editing this post that I wrote multiple years back (before 2020) and reediting now in 2025. I can now conclude that the changes I have been making are coming easier; however, the credit I give for being able to change is not mine to take. Because I have a dedicated friend who declared by His own voice that I will never be forgotten, He continues to lift, comfort, love, and has never closed Himself off from me. His arms are forever waiting for me to take the single step into them enfolding me tight. He is patiently waiting continuously as he asks us "to come unto [him]", so the question is: will you?

This is your own choice, your very own, I can't make it for you, nor can anyone else! There are multiple blessings promised and given, the words have multiple testimonies by those who have already written them. Here is one that I have relied on: "There is a law... upon which all blessings are predicated- and when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated."

I've seen it over and over, and multiple testimonies from the lives of those around me. Even in the very lives of those who don't have the same beliefs as myself. Everything that has been given unto them for their Good is a blessing because of their obedience to the laws of life and even the laws which have been made by us all. Many work hard to invest; those investments if not through greed, are lent or given to others, uplifts them to increase in talents and abilities which help to benefit others around them which in due course comes full circle back to bless their own lives yet again!

That is the act of service! And the showing of how we can appreciate others who are constantly or fleeting in our own lives.

The 2nd Date

We both enjoyed it, first we walked the mall, then headed to barns and noble, to look at different books, had dinner at golden corral which was good. After that we did two rounds of mini golf at trafalga with jessi and her date; i also happen to see my good friend russel there with his wife. But all in all it was a good night to have fun and be together.

job one day and gone the next

After working at BYU- catering, if i remember right a week when by before i got hired on at moduslink, which was good and steady while it lasted; but now comes the part where i need to actually get something else underway and i didn't do it yesterday or today but it needs to get done! The first step is always the hardest for me unless i know that i am needed and wanted in whatever i try to do~ but its getting to that first step that seems to drag on and on until i finally arrive where i need to.

Finished

last night i finished Brisingr, oh what a good book and a 5 day read. and can't wait for the fourth and final book then i am going to add the series to my collection!

In the Hall...

People are every where but to their classes they go, some to the top and others to the bottom. In a rush it seem congested but actually moves in a flow.
Seeing them go up and going down,
they exercise without going to the gym.
Because from building to building they must go, as they don't want to be late for their next class.
And when it is over for the day, they continue to walk, bike or drive to their
home, apartment, or even to a friend.
But when it comes to Homework, it is as long as the day may seem, even as they study.
I'm sure when it comes to having fun, they are "a" present, but then in the early hours they finally fall asleep, waiting for the alarm to sound begins their day again, for when class gets boring there is hardly one still to be steadily taking notes.

Differences with the same Goal

So to start out, there are differences we each have individually that make us who we are! As we live through each day life gets harder and harder to survive; nevertheless, we continue to be preserved through the night, to learn more the next day. we continue to have reasons why we do what we do, how we do, and to whom we do but it is no longer enough to just reason our way around, like we owe others something. The only person that i deeply need to remember is Heavenly Father! through His son Jesus Christ, who is our Redeemer, who made a sacrifice giving Himself so we can return to OUR Father, being the only way to Him.
We are different, we each learn differently, each of us has a long way before we can ever say "I'm Perfect" but there are countless times that we want to be viewed as perfect; however, in this life things are always going to be coming to us imperfectly, though we are given a few things that are perfect like the Gospel and church of Jesus Christ for these last days. we are in the last days and He is ever more closer to coming then he was ten years back, but we are given a way to be reminded and to prepare for that special day as it will arrive. So remember who you are and do the work the lord has in store for you as you continue to live as he would want you to live.

Catering at BYU!

I am greatly blessed to have worked there, it was a time for me to figure myself out and getting to know other people whom I hadn't met before. The great times we caters had.

since...

since it has been a while I'd like to update what is at the center of my heart; well for me the Gospel is still true and the temples are just what this world needs!

as for relationships, i found that I'm just not ready to settle down; even though, part of me would still like to, there are other things that prohibit me from doing so, as well as things pertaining to spirituality.

just as there is this, life has a way of testing our attitude about the way things are going in our life; moreover, the more lazy we are the less we will receive the help we need, or even the blessings of that we need to receive daily will eventually dwindle because we lack or slack in the important parts of what this life is really giving us.

so what are those important details we tend to forget when things go wrong, or when we are pushed? the answer continues to be basic, but each of us needs to evaluate it personally! and may it truly make the difference.

progression

It is what the gospel of Jesus Christ is all about!

reasons for time

I did believe that as i was with someone long enough that there could grow a love that now has not taken place. But an understanding of why i am around those who the Lord needs me to be around, to support them and to share why and who I've become and how i got to become the person i truly am.
Time can give us the real reason of why we decide to do certain things, but many people have been asked if they could change the past what would they change, the answer mostly given is none for they have realized the importance of each challenge and trial, each person we come across, our mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, and family.
To them they would not give up a single thing that has helped them to succeed in life. And I am one of them!

time, day and night

Time, that is not my own, we continue to barrow the hours and minutes that are given us each day.
Many of us try to control the force that drives the night and day, but it rotates to a higher force and it is his work that surrounds us every time, every day, and yet what will it come to? and how will we handle this?

Mine, I, myself

M= meditate
I= who i am
N= nature
E= Endeavor

these are part of many.

well for a short background, I am a Member of The Church of Latter-day Saints!
I have strong convictions and beliefs along with a testimony about and for the church, my main focus is: Faith, Hope, Charity, etc. and it is not just because i was born into the church, but part of it is the experience of serving a mission.
I never like to contend with those of different sects, nor on a personal level.

I have been born to Goodly parents who love the Lord, and follow His Plan, I have been tested and tried in many aspects of my growing up years and it continues on past this very day!! However, I know that I know. There is hope and a way set and a path our feet can rest on as we labor in this life.

Its been dificult and ruff, but if we really have a positive outlook on the things we do, we know are right and are prepared, working hard, and obeying the law of GOD we really have nothing to FEAR! it will always be brought to my attention that its the gospel we need to focus on, because if i or anyone else fails to do so there is a high and mighty price we will have to pay! but i don't want to pay for it and i know who i can turn to get help and He will help me because its His work and promise to me that if i remain faithful and obey with all diligence relying on Him.

It will surely come to pass!

the joy of being...

for the longest time well at least for more then two years i really have not been really determined about anything until of late, starting with while i was taking a shower, i was thinking more inwardly about a certain problem i was continuing to have.
and so i thought about defining it and giving it a proper place for when it can bring joy instead of despair, now i really can feel the joy of being determined!

Becoming Certain

If Faith, Hope, and Charity combined with Repentance, Hard work, and forgiveness gives us a result of gospel living with a desire for those things that brings the blessings of the gospel!

When we are really having a hard time, with thoughts of depression or that of a heavy conscience, a layer of haze surrounds us making our ability to see not as clearly as we once did. However, we all know that turning to our Savoir who atoned for us, lifts us as we include him in our thoughts moment to moment. These few steps or goals that we want to get started on, this life is the process of receiving that continuous forgiveness, by helping us to release ourselves from the negative self judgement. The cleansing power in our lives comes from the love of Alpha and Omega; we must be the one to use our own agency, no one else is able use our agency!

If we feel inadequate, how do we become adequate?

Will we receive the forgiveness we seek daily?

First, to stop how inadequate you really feel, focus more on what you have accomplished over the years. Basically, look back counting your many blessings that you have received from the Lord daily.

Step two, in your prayers, thank Him with your heart full of gratitude.

Step three, serve, look out for others who are having a harder time in life than you. Look for ways to keep the spirit in your hearts and life.

Step four, pick the right music that will invite the spirit of the Lord into your house, apartment, etc. While you listen, see if you can spot the warmness that comes and fills the very air that surrounds your body, mind and soul!

As you do step four, try this for a change: turn off the TV, grab a picture of the Savior, the temple, your family, look at them together and separately, remember the times you've had with them; if you have not been able to go to the temple because of your young age, you will be patient! For there are a multitude of blessings you will receive with each saving ordinance therein.

Step five, attend your church/religious meetings, all of them, for in each brings more understanding and invites the spirit to reside beside us throughout the week.

And now its your turn to make your own list, you can continue from mine or begin anew. But your own choice and how you use your agency will affect not only you but also those continuously around you.
So good luck and may God help you along your way.

If I may...

... try to express these thoughts of mine that I believe are related to the heart:

First, even though, it is a mechanical mussel we use daily, it is said that it is the only organ in our body that can feel feelings, like hate, love, etc...
Second, is that surrounding the heart and belly of our torso, is the bosom. Which has been described in two ways, one is that of seniority, and the other is of a dearest friend, or confidant.

Since birth we have been given a companion to know right from wrong, light and dark, encouraging us to deal with spiritual and temporal understandings that comes at us through life, progressing with the reality of faith, hope, and charity.

That is what it means to have something "at the center of the heart" because it is worth every effort. For you nor I will never want to let it go! Not even after death.

 Originally written: SUNDAY, DECEMBER 14, 2008

Edited: March 8, 2020

Heart Thought

It is incredible how one can think with one's heart, but I think it's also because of that special someone has entered their life; more so would be that they know love can grow and expand in their sphere of togetherness.

When two people show their affection for each other, there comes a change and given the chance that more will come from their relationship than ever before. Therefore, when love abides, it will prosper because of the soil their combined efforts nourish, nourishing the very plants that will continuously bring them joy as they start them from seeds. With each segment of growth giving testimony to their efforts, ... .